My Destroyed Life
by x.Bieber.Addict.x
Summary: This is a one-shot about Leah Clearwater's life, and how it is messed up and she hates it. WARNING: character suicide/death. Please review and let me know what you think, as this is my first story. Thankyou. T for death and language.


WARNING: this story contains some language, character suicide/death and deep, dark emotions. I do not recommend ending your life if you have problems similar to these.  
DISCLAIMER: I unfortunately, do not own The Twilight Saga or any of it's characters. Stephenie Meyer does. CURSE YOU SM! If I owned them, I'd be rich and wouldn't have this uploaded now.

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Jealousy. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. Depression. Lonely. Pessimistic. Hate-filled. Disappointed. Abandoned. These are all the emotions I feel every day. Everyone treats me like shit. I feel like a door-mat, people use me, and when their done, they forget about me and move on.

Numerous times I have gone to see a councillor. Mandy, she's a nice woman; she always listens to my problems. She says I need help. _Pfft_. The only people that need help are the people I used to call friends, family, lovers.

Well, I'll tell you about each of my problems.

Sam. _Sam_. Where do I start with him? He's the first thing that sent my life rolling downhill. First, he forgot my birthday, then he forgot our anniversary, next he bought me flowers that I was allergic to. You may think that this crap doesn't sound bad, but you haven't heard the worst problem yet.

My cousin, she was my best friend. Emily. She came to La Push to see me for Christmas, and to meet my fiancé, Sam. When he opened the door to greet her, I noticed a wild look in his eyes. The look that I had been told about by my father. Sam imprinted on my cousin, and left me alone. _Abandoned. Anger. Hurt. Lonely. Jealousy._

He killed my heart. From then onwards, I have been a cold, heartless person. At least I'm not a cold, heartless, _dead _person.

The pack. They torture me every day with their love lives and imprints, with their problems and all their shit, and turn all hypocritical on my ass when I try to think about my problems. I bottle my shit up because I'm not allowed to express my feelings. _Anger. Sadness. Hurt._

They make me block out my pain, and I don't need that. I need to get rid of my pain by expressing it, by talking about it. Mandy didn't do a good enough job. _Pessimistic. Hate-filled. Disappointed._

My family. Firstly, my dad died, leaving me alone in the world with nobody to understand me. Secondly, my brother became an annoying, smart-ass, gangly wolf. Thirdly, my mom got married to _Charlie Swan_. Charlie, of all people! So that means that I have a cold dead step sister. A cold dead _whiny, Mary-Sue_ step sister. Lastly, they all abandoned me when I became deeply depressed. They don't know how to help me, and they don't have any idea how to understand what I'm going through. _Abandoned._

My life. Imagine my life to be a train. One of those flashy, fast, modern trains. It's painted in happy colors and decorated nicely. Suddenly, it crashes, and turns ugly. It just fades away into the background, and everyone forgets about it. That explains my life perfectly. A train wreck.

I grabbed a chair from the dining room and pulled it outside, placing it under the tree I used to climb.

My life sucks. I'm not just saying it like I used to, like how so many teenagers just say it. I really mean it. My. Life. Sucks. I despise it. I would do anything to end it.

I found the rope in the garden shed. I walked over to the tree and tied it to the closest limb.

I slit my wrists; it's the only thing that takes my pain away. Well, it used to take my pain away. It creates more for me now, because it just doesn't work anymore.

I write depressing shit. Poetry, songs, stories, anything I can think of.

My daily routine is getting up, showering, eating a granola bar, going to school, earning stares, skipping class, smoking and drinking, cutting, getting into trouble, beating up someone, going home, sleeping. That's basically it. Sometimes it changes, depending on whether the wolf pack wants me or not, which is very rare.

I stood on the chair and made a loop with the rope.

God must be disappointed with me. Everyone must be disappointed with me.

I don't really have a life anymore.

I'm sickly skinny and pale from lack of food. If you saw me now, you wouldn't believe me when I tell you that I used to be pretty.

I slide the rope around my neck.

This is my only solution. Ending this crap hole that I call my life. Before I hang myself, I just want to say some things.

I wish I had better friends, a better boyfriend, and a better family. I wish I was happy, got good grades in school, and ate healthy. I wish I was beautiful and fit, sporty and girly. I wish that I wasn't so messed up. Dear whoever's listening, hear my words; hear me say I want to live a better life. Please make it all go away. Make the pain stop. Lastly, I want to say this. Fuck. My. Life.

I sighed, as tears slid down my face. Could I really do this to myself? Just as I knocked the chair out from underneath me, I heard my mom and brother scream and beg me not to go. It's too late to care guys.

Now it's my funeral. I'm with my dad in heaven now, and everything is better. The pain is gone and everything has stopped. I'm watching all the dickheads below grieve over my dead body. They all regret abandoning me and hurting me. They wish they had given me a better life. It's a bit late for acting now. Dad comforted me as I grew angry. He knew me well. We watched as our family and friends remembered not only me, but Harry as well. When the funeral was done, they lowered my coffin into the ground. Rain started to fall down, and as they filled up the grave with dirt, I said goodbye to my body. So did everyone else. They shook with sobs, tears messing their faces up. I looked at dad, who had a tear slide down his cheek, missing his wife and son, but happy that he's not alone anymore. When everybody left the cemetery, I took daddy's hand and we walked off into the light, remembering the good times and leaving our bad ones behind.

Life isn't so bad for me anymore.

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Well, please Read&&Review, I would like to know what you think! Don't misunderstand this story and think that I hate Leah Clearwater, because she is actually one of my favourite characters.

Please be nice to me as this is my fist story, but I will accept constructive critisism :) I like to hear what people think, and if I need to improve anything.

Thanks!  
You know you love me bahahaha jokes ;)  
~Taylor~


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